Although many people don’t like to admit they lie, it is something that we all do – some of us more than others. Psychologist, Professor Richard Wiseman, says that we are all born with a natural ability to lie, suggesting it is a relatively inescapable certainty within our lives.
Image Source: http://www.practicingparents.com/why-do-kids-lie/
Why might we tell a lie?
Social Psychologist Bella DePaulo believes that bending the truth is becoming a part of everyday conversation. On average, people are thought to lie 10 times a week, or in a third of social interactions.
However, lying is not always done with bad intentions – so-called ‘white lies’ have good intentions. Quite frequently, people will tell a porkie-pie without even realizing it, to allow the smoothness of a conversation to continue.
DePaulo suggests there are two kinds of lies that can be told, ‘self-serving lies’ and ‘kind-hearted lies’. ‘Self-serving lies’ are the kind of tall tales that people tell to impress others or save their own self-esteem, such as “claiming to have performed better than you really did or denying that you did something bad or embarrassing.”
Meanwhile ‘kind-hearted lies’ are those told to improve another’s self-esteem and to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. This could be telling someone they look nice when you might not believe it, or making excuses to reject a party invitation so you don’t have to tell the person that you just don’t want to go.
Are some people better at lying that others?
It is thought that some people are more skilled at telling lies and do so more willingly than others – but the question is, why?
Is it a trait of their personality, demographics or relationships? Or are they plagued by a compulsive and pathological need to lie, in order to impress others or improve their own self-esteem?
The stereotype of a liar for many, is a person who is manipulative and scheming. This is not far wrong. Many people who lie are classed as more ‘manipulative’ in personality than those who do not lie. Extroverts who have more opportunity for social interaction are also found to be more prone to lying, whilst responsible personalities and introverts are significantly less likely to bend the truth.
Compulsive liars are often incredibly hard to detect. In some cases, people will tell extreme pathological lies, that spiral out of control or can manipulate a situation or another person. These can be hurtful and detrimental to relationships when discovered to be untrue.
However, people who suffer with this compulsive need to lie often do so to improve their self-esteem. They can find it terribly uncomfortable to face the truth, especially as they fear losing the life they have built for themselves on deceit.
How can you tell if someone is lying?
FBI Agent Bouton, suggests you can tell if a person might be lying to you through simply observing their facial expressions. These actions are easier to spot in people who you know well as you can see the difference in their behaviour compared to normal, and is particularly effective when asking a question that you believe they will answer with a lie.
Dr. Paul Seager, a senior psychology lecturer also suggests features of body language can indicate lying, such as a shaking of the leg or a movement in the fingers. For example, right-handed people tend to look directly to the right when lying about what they heard, and up to the right when lying about what they saw.
Facial expressions of a liar:
Closing the eyes for a long period of time following a lie
The eyes looking up, down or directly away, to the right
False smiles –only causing muscle movement in the mouth rather than the eyes too
Touching or itching the face
Pursing or pouting of the lips
‘Head shaking’ when speaking
Many of these behaviours could explain why you often hear people asking others to ‘look me in the eye’ when trying to work out if someone is telling the truth. It seems that those who lie can work themselves up into quite the fluster when confronted about their dishonest behaviour!
It is thought that the use of imaging techniques in science such as fMRI and EEG could tell us a lot about why we lie and how the brain works to achieve this. By looking at the changes which occur in the brain when we lie, we can discover a lot about its process and also how to detect whether someone is telling the truth or not based on their brain activity and functioning.
The Polygraph used to be the method commonly adopted to detect lying. However psychologist Geoffrey Bunn suggests that, “the problem with the polygraph, is that it detects fear, not lying; the physiological responses that it measures—most often heart rate, skin conductivity, and rate of respiration—don’t necessarily accompany dishonesty”.
Although FMRI and EEG follow similar premises, they are a bit more complex in their detection of brain functioning than the polygraph lie detection methods seen on the likes of Jeremy Kyle!
So, next time you think about being Pinocchio and telling a tall story, decide whether it’s really necessary. Although your nose may not grow, it may be more obvious that you are lying than you think!